You Are Invited

A friend of mine in Birmingham posted a question on Facebook this week about her son’s birthday party. His school hasn’t given out contact information for the parents to be able to make connections with one another. So, she sent invitations to school for each of his classmates – 15 children. 3 RSVPed. So, what was she to do? Plan for all? Plan for 4? Guess somewhere in the middle? The responses were empathetic. Send a reminder flier for all of their backpacks; have your son ask his friends if they are coming; plan for more…maybe even more than you invited by the time parents bring siblings; stalk the parking lot with a clipboard and get the thing organized. “Over and over again the lament repeated, ‘people just don’t RSVP anymore.’”

We understand the trials and tribulations of party planning today. And Jesus’ listeners in the first Century, knew that when a bride and groom were engaged, they weren’t married right away. The groom went to prepare a home for the couple. It might take a year for him to get the home prepared, and as it was nearing completion, the invitations to the wedding would be made by servants going and inviting guests in person to come, and guests would gather and wait for the bridegroom…sometimes a few days. And when he arrived, the wedding ceremony would be held in the evening and a seven day feast would begin.

Jesus tells this story about a wedding banquet in the Temple in Jerusalem in the days between his triumphal entry with palm branches waving and his arrest. The chief priests and elders are agitated with him, asking him who gave him authority to do the things he is doing. They are looking for a way to arrest him, but they are watching the crowd too. And they see that the crowd sees him as a prophet – a messenger of God – so they are afraid to act…at least just yet.

The metaphor of the parable is pretty clear, and I think Jesus meant for the connection to be relatively obvious to his listeners. The king, God, prepared a wedding banquet for his son, Jesus. Throughout Hebrew Scripture God was described as the bridegroom in covenant relationship with Israel. The Kingdom of God is described as a marriage between heaven and earth. The apostle Paul, who wrote his letters before the Gospels were written, described Jesus as the bridegroom and the church as the bride. So, the metaphor is clear to Matthew’s readers, God is throwing a wedding banquet for Jesus as he establishes the new covenant.

The invitations have gone out, and it is time for the feast. So the message is heralded, “Come!” But the invited guests refuse to come.

Another attempt is made, “Tell those who have been invited that dinner is prepared: oxen and fatted calf have been slaughtered; everything is ready. Come to the feast!” But the invited guests don’t come.
Some just pay no attention…they have work to do and they head to their fields and their businesses. They don’t have time to sit around for a couple of days waiting on the bridegroom…and once he comes the party will last another seven days. They would rather spend time at home. They are too tired, overcommitted, stressed to be interested in a big fancy dinner party.

Others react violently and reject the invitation and kill the messengers. It seems to me that Jesus was referring to the death of John the Baptist. Surely his inference added fuel to the burning anger of the chief priests and elders. They must have been seething at this point.

So, how do we respond to God’s invitation? We have been invited to a wedding feast to celebrate this covenant – God’s son is the bridegroom and he is coming. What could possibly be so urgent that we would tend to it rather than respond to the invitation? How could we possibly be so threatened by the establishment of this covenant relationship that we would reject not only the invitation but the messenger?

But Jesus goes on. The king gathered his servants again, “go in to the street corners and invite anyone you find – good and bad.” And they came and filled the wedding hall.

Look around there are all kinds of people at this party. Good and bad, people from the street corners and back alleys, there are people here who could have never imagined in their wildest dreams that the king would invite them to the wedding feast – I mean there is NO WAY they deserve to be here.

Remember, from our study of parables this summer that they are supposed to challenge us? They are riddles designed to “tease the mind into insight” (Dr. Douglas Hare) causing us to “look into the hidden aspects of our own values, our own lives. They bring to the surface unasked questions, and they reveal the answers we have always known, but refuse to acknowledge.” Remember Dr. Amy-Jill Levine’s warning that our reaction to a parable “should be one of resistance rather than acceptance….Therefore, if we hear a parable and think, ‘I really like that’ or worse, fail to take any challenge, we are not listening well enough.”

What bothers me most about this parable is the man who was not wearing wedding clothes. The king comes in and notices him, “Friend, how did you get in here without wedding clothes?” The man has no response and the king has him bound, hands and feet tied, and thrown outside. Why does Jesus make up this character, and what is he trying to teach?

In the first Century, when a guest arrived, the host welcomed them with a kiss. Their feet were washed because the roads were dusty. Their heads, and sometimes their beards and feet and clothing were anointed…which is a nice way to describe that they were perfumed to cover the smell. Then, they received a garland to wear on their heads, they were seated according to rank, their hands were washed, and they prayed and ate.

At a great banquet thrown by a king, the guests all received a robe to wear in the king’s honor. But this guest doesn’t accept the gift. Maybe he doesn’t think he needs it. Sure, everyone else is wearing one, but the king doesn’t think HE needs to change. Ungrateful, entitled, he stands at the feast in his own clothes – shocked when the king has the audacity to question him.

Dr. Robert Emmons, is a researcher and professor of psychology at the University of California. He believes he knows what gives life meaning: pure and simple gratitude. He writes, “Without gratitude, life can be lonely, depressing and impoverished. Gratitude enriches human life. It elevates, energizes, inspires and transforms. People are moved, opened and humbled through expressions of gratitude.”

“Unfortunately, cultivating an attitude of gratitude isn’t easy. We must be willing to recognize and acknowledge that we are the recipients of an unearned benefit. This is especially rare among middle-class high school and college students who’ve grown up in a world that’s revolved around them, [in a world that lets them create a grand persona on social media]; one that repeatedly communicates they are “awesome” and deserve trophies just for playing. This world actually cultivates a sense of entitlement. It creates a sense that we deserve anything good we’ve received. It is, in fact, contrary to the growth of a spirit of gratitude. Entitlement is virtually the opposite of gratitude: as [we] feel more entitled, [our] gratitude shrinks in proportion.”

A few years ago, corporate executives were asked what single word best describes the recent college graduates entering their workplace. The word they selected? Entitled.

A University of New Hampshire management professor, Paul Harvey studied entitlement and narcissism in adults born in the 80’s and early 90’s and concluded that “As a group, millenials are adorned by a “very inflated sense of self” that leads to “unrealistic expectations” and, ultimately, wraps them in a robe of “chronic disappointment” with embellishments of anger, impatience, cynicism, resentment, criticism, and ingratitude.

Our response to God’s invitation should be one of great joy – drop everything and run, and one of deep gratitude – we don’t deserve this grace. The prophet Isaiah responds to God’s invitation saying, “I delight greatly in the Lord, my soul rejoices in my God for he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.”

That man standing there in the middle of the wedding banquet wearing his own clothes didn’t feel like he needed the king’s garments of salvation or robe of righteousness. But he did, and all he had to do was accept the invitation and put on the robe at the entrance to the feast!

I think this parable bothers me because I know I could be that man. I could stand there and not realize the grace that brought me there. I could stand there and let myself believe I deserved to be there. Entitlement is an obstacle to a life of grace and gratitude. So, how do we keep our sense of self-worth and entitlement in perspective? By practicing gratitude. By saying “thank you.”

Try it one day this week. Say thank you to every person who does something for you. At the end of the day, list all the things that you enjoyed in your day that you did nothing to deserve – maybe it will be that all the lights were green down Poplar, or you shared a laugh with a co-worker. Then, write down one thing you are grateful for and write beside it, “Thank you, God.” You might find that you want to try it again the next day…and maybe the next.

Friends, hear the invitation: You are invited! You are invited to a joyful feast! What radical grace! You are invited to the king’s banquet! A robe is prepared for you. Will you come? Will you wear it? How could we not be grateful? What an incredible invitation! Thank be to God. Amen.