Who Is Invited to Dinner?

Several years ago a grandmother texted her 22 year old grandson that Thanksgiving Dinner would be at her house at 3pm, to let her know if he was coming and she hoped to see him. And the response came back, “Who is this?” “Your grandma.” “Grandma? Can I have a picture?” “Of who?” “You” and then they exchanged pictures. They weren’t related. But, the 17 year old young man asked the 60-something grandma if he could still get a plate, though….and thus began what has been 6 years of Thanksgivings together, friendship, the screenshot of their text string going viral on social media, getting picked up by news outlets for good news stories, and now a deal with Netflix.

At first when I saw their story, I thought, “Why is that a big deal?” And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that what is remarkable is how many social barriers they crossed – continuing a text conversation with someone you are sure is not the intended recipient, texting your picture to a stranger, welcoming a stranger to Thanksgiving dinner…going to a stranger’s house and eating with Thanksgiving with their family, and grandma is white and the young man is black.

One of my dear friends, who is now a United Methodist pastor, framed Nicholas’s birth announcement and then, in time, Elizabeth’s and put them on his mantle and when people asked who they were, he told them that they are his niece and nephew. People didn’t believe him. It might be because he is black and we are white, I don’t know. But, one of the things he considers an indication of true friendship, and of the social barrier of race being crossed in a relationship, is whether or not you have been to his house or he to yours for a meal.

Meals are important. With whom we eat is important. When we host Room in the Inn, which I hope and pray we will be able to do next winter, we not only host our homeless guests. When they sit down for dinner, we ask them to leave space for us to sit across from them and share conversation. Many of you will remember the meals Farmington folks shared with the Memphis Islamic Center folks, and how those meals brought new understanding and care for one another. Anthropologist Mary Douglas studied mealtime fellowship and found that across all cultures, meals represent “boundary markers.” “They mark the boundaries between different levels of intimacy and acceptance (Tim Chester).”

New Testament scholar Scott Bartchy writes about the importance of mealtime, table fellowship in the 1st Century Jewish culture of Jesus. He says that “Mealtimes were far more than occasions for individuals to consume nourishment. Being welcomed at a table for the purpose of eating food with another person had become a ceremony richly symbolic of friendship, intimacy, and unity. Thus betrayal or unfaithfulness toward anyone with whom one had shared the table was viewed as particularly reprehensible. On the other hand, when persons were estranged, a meal invitation opened the way to reconciliation.”

At first when we hear the story of the call of Levi and the feast he hosts as Luke tells it, we might wonder, “What’s the big
deal?” Or, we might focus on the murmurs of the Pharisees that Jesus was eating with sinners! But we don’t really understand the significance of this occasion until we reflect on the remarkable number of social barriers that this meal crosses.

First, what do we know about Levi? He is a tax collector at a tax office. That means that he is a customs officer; he collects taxes on goods that are being transported. We know that when Jesus sees him sitting at work and says, “Follow me” he doesn’t hesitate. He gets up, leaves everything behind and follows.

Now, this by itself, bothered the Pharisees. Levi is a Hebrew name, so we can assume that he was born Jewish. But, he worked for the Romans, which meant he was a traitor to his people. He worked for the enemy, the oppressor, and his work made the oppressor stronger. So, there is a political barrier.

We know that he is not, like Zacchaeus was, a chief tax collector; so, he works for a chief tax collector, and Luke does not tell us that he is rich. Chief tax collectors were wealthy, powerful appointees to regions that were not their homeland. Then, they employed locals to actually collect the tax. And there was leeway in the tax code for them to charge to cover expenses and corruption was prevalent. The Pharisees know people like Levi, they grew up with them, and now they get taken advantage of by them. So, there is an economic barrier.

Finally, working in customs office, Levi came in contact with people from all over, foreign merchants, non-Jewish people, Gentiles, unclean people! And when you come in contact with people who are unclean, then you are unclean. So, there is a religious barrier.

Rev. Dr. Fred Craddock comments on Levi and tax collectors like him being despised, “Add to the financial oppression the ceremonial impurity of such contact with Gentiles, and the element of treason for working for foreigners against one’s own people and the outcast status is understandable.”

It might have been one thing if he got up and followed Jesus, walked away from everything and everyone. But, he didn’t. He threw a feast at his house and invited his outcast friends and Jesus came and ate! The Pharisees murmur to the disciples about Jesus eating with tax collectors and sinners. They weren’t spreading gossip about the party guests. Luke tells us that Levi invited tax collectors and others to sit at table with them. The Pharisees call them sinners, and what they mean by that is that they and everyone in the community knows that these “others” are officially excluded from the synagogue, and since the synagogue is the center of community life, they are outcasts in their own towns.

Jesus eats with people who have officially been excluded from religious life by people who know them well, people whose parents know their parents, people who grew up with them. Jesus eats with people that the Pharisees and the religious leaders have barricaded.

And when questioned about it, he answers that there are two kinds of people – those who are well and those who are sick, those who are righteous and those who are sinners. He has come to call sinners, those who have been excluded, left out, thought “less of”, barricaded, to metanoia. We translate it repentance, but the root Greek meaning is change. Jesus has come to call those who have been barricaded by the community to life transformation.

And the way to bring about that transformation, Jesus shows us, is not to shun or shame. It is not to call out sins and sinners. It is not to confront or condemn. It is to feast, to sit down and enjoy dinner together.

You know, I often wonder if the Pharisees were sure that they were the ones who didn’t need a physician and surely were the righteous Jesus was talking about. And it seems so obvious to me that they were sick and sinners, in need of the Great Physician’s healing and didn’t even know it, that they put up barriers that not only didn’t make them more holy, but made them less holy.

But it is a lot harder to see our own sickness, our own sins, to recognize the barriers we have put up as hindrances rather than helps to our faith between ourselves and other people. As we move into spring and toward Easter, I invite you to consider having a meal with someone you have never had a meal with before – for whatever reason. It might be that you are friends, but have never eaten together. It can be a coworker or a neighbor, or the parent of one of your child’s friends. It can be somebody that you are always thinking, “I really ought to invite them to lunch.” Maybe you will get brave, and ask someone that some might think of as different from you, or that sickness in our society says should be barricaded from you. Invite someone to join you. It can be at a restaurant or a coffee shop or your home or your patio or the park or the school lunchroom or even on Zoom. Again, here is your assignment: It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as you haven’t eaten together before. It doesn’t matter where, as long as you are together eating and talking. Invite them, enjoy the fellowship and meal together. And then, reflect on how that time together impacts you and your relationship, and pray about who else you haven’t shared mealtime fellowship with – people you would consider different – because of their politics or economics or lifestyle or physical characteristics or religion. Who will you invite to dinner?